The acrylics came out after the great glassbreak of 2022

You saw the wine glass break, I saw the wine glass break, and I’m pretty sure little aliens from Mars could see it through their drama-sensitive telescopes too. But now it’s time to deal with the aftermath of such a cataclysmic event, as the couples spend their last night in retirement in heavenly situations.

The Girls Respond to 2022’s Great Glass Shattering and No One Is Very Impressed, Especially Olivier.

she sees both sides of the story though. She is cultured like that. A bilingual queen.

It’s just that… I don’t believe in drama like that

That’s when we start to realize that Olivia isn’t buying it. That’s basically the theme of the whole episode and it kicks off real early.

Olivia says she “don’t want to be associated with white trash” and I get the feeling she doesn’t like it Dominica many.

I don’t know, I just feel like there’s a little tension between them. Not sure why. Someone has to break the ice g̶l̶a̶s̶s̶.

olivia
that’s why his cheeks are so fat, they are full of fury

Jackie boy finds his wife Bogan crying in the dark and consoles her with some quite mature words.

I feel like I’m coming to him now. He said all the right things with the right amount of patience and that was just what Domenica needed.

Dare I say… an empathetic king???

mafs 2022
cry and vomit that no one talks to me like that.

Meanwhile, Liv has a chat with her own boy Jacky. It’s the Jack and jackson show tonight, as the two guys fight to see who can support their wives the hardest.

They both do a very good job fkn, and it’s a mission I don’t envy. Some hills of empathy are just too hard to climb, you know. Break glasses? It’s a Kilimanjaro right there.

olivia
I hated her… so… flames, flames on the side of my face…

After realizing that breaking a glass on galz night might not be the better course of action, Princess Bogan consults the Spoons for some icy healing.

Nothing comes out of these bags like cold silverware, I tell you what.

dominique
to feel useless… he

Oh, and Jack is also back with a few more words of support. It’s a supportive word machine tonight. the Gayle King at Domenica bogan Oprah.

Jackson and Olivia then sit down for another chat about where this drama will lead and how much inconvenience it will take until Olivia relents. (Spoilers, it’s about 80,923).

Liv then tells her son Jacky that she needs “justice”. All right Judy, put down the gavel.

mafs 2022
bring me his head… or don’t come back.

To lighten the intensity of the drama, the charming producers of the MAFS Bermuda Triangle headquarters decide to cut the tension with a giant knife in the shape of Matt.

Throw him in a hot tub. Shit, add kate too. Why not fucking?

Mast tells Kate that he enjoyed hearing through the MAFS magic vine that she said nice things about him. Nawww.

They then give each other the most awkward hug this side of the Red Rooster line, and that’s the last we hear from Matt and Kate this ep.

So nice to check out their relationship. Now maybe give Selina airtime? No? Alright, sorry to ask.

mafs 2022
cute and grumpy at the same time… a talent

Ahhh, I guess that reprieve was short-lived. Back to Domenica crying and Olivia demanding that Excalibur be brought to her chambers so she can have a gun with which to seek justice!

dominique
*cries bogan*

Ella being the good friend that she is comes to console Domenica, who is really upset with her own actions. Maturity in MAFSa rare sight indeed.

Meanwhile queen of infidelity carolina gets all hot and bothered by a phone call with Daniel, who literally tells him he’s on the run. Homegirl is down wrong.

She then decides to go and ask her Italiano boo D(i)on if he wants to go running. Have you ever seen an Italian running in your fkn life? Exactly. Now let him keep cooking his pizza and dreaming about love.

carolina
“unf… what kind of Adidas shoes do you wear…”

Liv and Jackson consider the best method of attack for when Domenica ultimately comes as an aperitif.

Jackson wants his wife to stop being so petty and resentful, and that’s when I think she’s turning over a new leaf.

“If it were up to me, I’d burn her at the stake,” Olivia said.

Progress!

mafs2022
remake the last season of GoT with her as Cersei, I think

It’s time for the drinks party!

Tensions run high as the couples celebrate their last night in their small retreat, which has brought some couples together and torn others apart. That’s what we like to see.

married at first sight
no it’s modo di correre who piccola!!!

Everyone is feeling a little nervous because Princess Bogan hasn’t shown up yet.

Tamara and Brentwho are still a bit frosty with each other, decide to air their grievances and aren’t moving anywhere fast.

Tim Tams says she still feels claustrophobic about their relationship, while Brent accuses her of spending more time with others than he does. Tense stuff.

mafs 2022
when will my husband (not brent) be back from the war??

Everyone fights with other competitors or their partners, while being adorable Al here is reading a poem fkn.

It’s probably one of the worst poems I’ve heard in my life, but points for trying…I guess?

Al
roses are red, violets are blue, samantha my baby girl, i still love you

Samantha doesn’t seem in the mood to hear a poem by Al at all. In fact, what she’s probably looking for is some sort of mature convo, but instead she has to listen to Dr. Seuss.

Al
hey, he poetized…

Italiano D(i)on decides to chat with his wife Carolina, after being insulted by her asking him to go for a run. Eating cannoli? Sure. To play petanque ? Whenever. Move your legs at a fast pace? Unless the Donatello pizzeria closes in 5 minutes and you don’t have a car.

Carolina asks D(i)on to compromise, but he feels like she hasn’t tried at all. I mean, she wrote “leave” and is actively fantasizing about another man’s Adidas shoes. You could tell she’s just not interested in you.

dion
mama mia

In summary, the conversation did not go very well for either of them.

carolina
mamma mia 2: here we go again

Liv lives for the brief moments that are without Domenica, but eventually she makes an appearance at the MAFS dinner and it’s the face crack of the century.

I mean, just look at the reactions of his two favorite people in the world:

mafs 2022
*sips asking for justice*
carolina
*sips while looking for racing photos of Daniel*

Liv goes for a hug and Domenica tells her she’s not ready for that.

To be fair, if someone came up to me and said “hi girlfriend” after I smashed a glass in their face, I’d think they were crazy too.

The evening starts well!

mafs 2022
“baby are you…” “I HAVE JUSTICE”

Liv has a moment with Carolina about how she’s going to say hello and hugging her was the greatest “swallowing her pride” moment ever, and feels strange that Domenica doesn’t immediately accept her kindness. .

Princess Bogan is still in a tough spot after acting out of shock and anger, and Liv is clearly not doing too well after the moment either.

mafs 2022
Katy Perry in Taylor Swift in 2018

During the MAFS dinner, Dom takes a moment to apologize to the galz, regretting that she sent shards of glass flying the last time they all ate together.

However, Liv still doesn’t buy the sincere apology and continues to make sarcastic comments to her son Jacky.

mafs 2022
not pictured here, she’s the one asking someone to pass the cyanide.

Dom is HELLA mature with all of this, and Liv keeps commenting and interrupting him, saying it’s not good enough.

She tells Dom that her breaking glass was an “assault” and that her apology should take that into account.

It’s a fucking mess.

dominique
are you coming to my ceremonial dinner? the day of my apology after the broken glass?

Jackson decides to put the issue to bed, but Liv isn’t hiding anyone yet.

He makes it clear that he’s pretty bummed that she didn’t even try to be the bigger person, and that he made harsh comments throughout Dom’s apology.

It’s a mature move from Jacky boy, but it also sends Liv into a spiral. I can’t win them all.

mafs 2022
“can’t i just seek justice in peace fkn?”

Since Jackson is no longer on her side, she must seek out her coven of blondes to console her.

mid summary
my favorite Midsommar scene, personally.

the MAFS ep ends with Liv in shambles and Domenica being comforted by Jack, which is kind of the opposite of how this ep started.

Finish off with this absolutely renaissance style photo of the blonde coven and Jackson, in which Kate’s facial structure and hair are absolutely PERFECT. Like a chiseled goddess.

mafs
until next week

If you need me, I’ll demand justice in a hot tub with pizza. Something to really capture the vibe of this wild ep.

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